Thinking Out Loud – Congratulations, You Survived Christmas Without Your Loved One at Your Side!

By the time you read this article Christmas will be over and you have survived that celebration and also the hurdle of the New Years party! This is especially true if you have lost a loved one recently.

As with everything else, the first time you do anything is the hardest. So you have survived Christmas and the New Year and now you know you can be present at other celebrations even if you don’t really feel a part of them. You know now that you can look forward without dread, to the other anniversaries that will loom in your life. Birthdays both yours and theirs, anniversaries and other special days are difficult times. You will recall how you used to celebrate these days with your loved one and hopefully you will be able to rejoice in those happy memories. Yes the anniversaries will bring sorrow and loneliness will be intensified on those days, but you know unquestionably that you can face these anniversaries and survive. And as with everything else in life, the more you do something the easier it becomes. So move forward into 2011 with the knowledge that you can get through the bad times with the help of your friends and family and perhaps, some outside help. Look for somebody who has been where you are. They know how hard the first years are. They can offer support from a completely different aspect; they know what you are going through. Is there a self-help support group operating in your area? These groups operate in much the same way as AA. They help you get through one day at a time. And the journey you are on needs to be taken one day at a time. In these groups will hepl you to focus on the journey as well as the destination. Know where you want to go even if you have no idea how to get there, and realize there is help available. Family, friends, outside agencies and groups are all there to support you through this appalling time. And the old adage that ‘time is a great healer’ will prove to be partly true. Time does not heal the hurt and the sense of loss, but it will make it easier to bear. The old saying that “time heals all wounds” is not true. A more correct saying might be “Time gives the perspective to all the true significance of events.”

Updated 01-24-2011

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